Season 2, Episode 19: Ulysses

There's not really much to do with Xena here, it's much more the story of the titular hero, on his way back from Troy to his wife Penelope - though a good deal quicker here than the ten years it supposedly took. Most of the adventures are skipped: here, all the god of the sea really bothers to throw at him are the Sirens, bypassed by his "crew" of X+G, by tying him up, and when that fails, by Xena singing to him, which is even more lureful (is that a word?) than the Sirens, who look like a 60's girl group more than anything.

On his arrival in Ithaca, he decides he doesn't want Penelope any more, but has fallen for Xena, persisting despite her attempts to dissuade him, by appealing to his sense of patriotism. This sudden switch, dumping the woman he's been trying to reach for a lengthy period and through so many trials, makes even less sense than G's falling for Perdicus, though before they discover Penelope is not dead as feared, X is clearly giving is serious consideration (until G starts whining, again, at least).

The problem is, it's another story far too obviously ripped straight from the pages of classical mythology, shoehorning Xena in as if she was the Grecian equivalent of the Purple Rose of Cairo. We know how this is going to work out, and the swift gallop through the aspects we know e.g. mentioning the blinded Cyclops, Ulysses's dog, is unsatisfying both as an adaptation of The Iliad and as a Xena episode. However, it was nice finally to complete the set of opening credit clips, in episode #43.

Rating: D

[Note vexed-looking irritating blonde in background...]

Season 2, Episode 20: The Price

Xena and Gabrielle find themselves cut off and pursued by an uber-badass tribe, called 'The Horde', with whom Xena has previously crossed paths before - not a nice bunch, to say the least. They end up inside an Athenian fort, where a beleaguered bunch of soldiers have to hold off the Horde. However, it requires the ruthless side of Xena, hitherto suppressed quite well, to be unleashed, to deal with an enemy that is not lacking in this area. It's a change which concerns Gabrielle, as X appears to be enjoying the killing a bit too much...

I liked the concept here, but the execution left something to be desired, though as ever, Lawless kicks considerable ass in her role, portraying both sides of the character. I always say - or, at least, I do now - you can't make a Warrior Princess without cracking heads, and when you need someone to step up and do what's necessary for survival, you can't be all wussy and complain about it. Not that this stops Gabrielle, of course, from doing just that, in one of her more irritating performances. Of course, there's a clumsily-laboured moral, with the Horde not quite as bad as they seem, which is a shame, because they are actually an intimidating bunch, in both appearance and deed.

No shortage of action here, with Xena and the Athenias going all Zulu against the hordes of the...er, Horde, but G's moral stance here is just so completely wrong-headed, the episode left me feeling more annoyed than enthralled, which is a bit of a shame.

Rating: C+

Season 2, Episode 21: Lost Mariner

It's nice to see the writers headioff the well-trodden path of Greek mythology into the obscurer corners. There was a Cecrops, whom legend states judged a contest between Athena and Poseidon, and picked Athena: in "reality", Poseidon didn't curse Cecrops for his choice, as happens here, where he is condemened to sail the oceans for eternity, or until love redeems him. So it's a bit Flying Dutchman, or Black Pearl, if you prefer. Of course, Gabrielle and Xena end up on board, and the only way off for them is to break the curse.

It helps that Cecrops is played by Tony Todd, veteran of a million horror movies, most obviously <i>Candyman</i> and the <i>Final Destination</i> series. He really brings it here, capturing the world-weary nature of a man who has been stuck on a ship for 300 years, and all hope abandoned a long time ago. The effects are a bit of a mixed bag: Poseidon is as Playstation-crappy as before, but Charybdis, the lethal whirlpool, is still pretty impressive.

Bit selfish of G not to dissuage X from leaping on board, thereby becoming part of the curse, but Renee O'Connor paid the price, by having to consume squid for storyline purposes (actually marinated octopus, but that's not much of an improvement in my opinion). The resolution could be described as a copout - really, 300 years afloat and Cecrops couldn't figure it out himself? But at least they didn't have Cecrops fall in love with X or G, which would have been even worse, and Todd sells it well, so it still works.

Rating: B



Season 2, Episode 22: Comedy of Eros

Cupid's bow is borrowed by his son, who turns a village filled with Hestian virgins into a free-fire zone for love's arrows. Locals fall in love with their livestock, Xena falls for long-time nemesis Draco, who is out to enslave the virgins, and - worst of all - Gabrielle falls for Joxer. Pick the romantic bones out of this chaotic scenario.

I just realized it's the same guy - Karl Urban - playing Cupid as played Julius Caesar. So the guy who crucified Xena earlier this season is now the god of love. I guess there must be a shortage of actors in New Zealand. This is the ultmiate <i>deus ex machina</i>, with an entirely contrived set-up that seems to be present to both tease and infuriate watching 'shippers. There's not really much in it for anyone else, though Joxer's final scene has a poignancy that's unexpected.

The "rules" for who falls in love with who don't seem consistent: when the virgins get shot, based on what we've seen, they should fall in love with each other, which doesn't happen at all. The whole idea seems to have been conceived by a bunch of giddy 11-year old subtexters, and the execution doesn't exactly enhance it. A disappointing end to a series which could accurately be described as "crippled".

Rating: D