Finally getting round to reviewing - and re-viewing - one of the canonical action heroine series of all time. Obviously, at 24 eps per series, it's going to take some time. As I watch each episode, I'm jotting down notes on it, and figured I might as well post them here for posterity and/or people's interest - they will get whacked into an article, one series at a time.

Prejudice disclaimer, based on my previous viewings: I'm not a subtexter, so expect my reviews for the later seasons to reflect that, and I have a general dislike of Gabrielle, whom I have previously referred to as 'Jiminy Cricket'. Will that stand up as I watch the show for the first time in more than a decade?

Series 1, Episode 1: Sins of the Past

Weird to think it was over fifteen years ago, on September 4, 1995, that the show debuted. It has hardly aged at all, but that's a benefit of historical settings. However, it is impossible to look at the New Zealand landscape now, without expecting to see a bunch of hobbits riding across it.

Lawless absolutely looks the part. Many action heroines lack the physical presence to convince you, especially when they're fighting men. But Lawless carries it off, even if the first time she kicks ass, she's doing so in her slip rather than her armor. The broad grin she gives in the middle of the fight is just marvelous.

There's not much backstory provided initially. It's clear Xena has a murky past, from which she's trying to escape, but no-one is really convinced, with the usual reaction being "Run! It's Xena!". This gives some degree of explanation why she lets Gabrielle tag along, but it's not very convincing.

Draco (Jay Laga'aia) is a good foe, and the battle between him and Xena, on top of some scaffolding - as well as the crowd's heads! - immediately showcases the debt the series owed to Hong Kong cinema. Overall rating: B



Series 1, Episode 2: Chariots of War

One of the main themes here is the perpetual tension between peace and war - and that the only way to achieve the former, is be prepared for the latter. This is an obvious example, and it's the obviousness that makes it less than successful, with a painfully earnest approach. It's not helped by Gabrielle whining "I was worried sick!", when she finally meets up with Xena,

In some ways, it's Sins of the Past Lite, as Xena helps another village fend off another raiding warlord, and sees, again, the unbridgeable difference between the life she has chosen and the peaceful one she wants. Even the warlord, Cycnus, and his son seem like a lo-cal version of Draco, without the charisma. None of the wannabe relationships in this are plausible, albeit because we know where the series is going.

The moment that sticks in the mind most is a surprisingly-gruesome arrow removal - made worse by the finale, where you suddenly realize why Xena started by asking her impromptu surgeon to put a poker in the fire. There's also a nice chariot race at the end, with some good stunt work, and amused to see Xena tearing apart the dress that belonged to her host's widow, all the better to fight you in [below]. Overall rating: C-

I watched the whole series when it originally aired. I can understand finding any of the characters annoying because it was a campy show like its predecessor Hercules: The Legendary Journies--often excessively so, such as in the comedy episodes--but I thought there were a number of strong episodes in the first two seasons. Favorite character was Xena's blond nemesis Callisto (whose best episode, I thought, was actually a Hercules: The Legendary Journies episode 3x12 "Surprise"). My feeling was there was a shift after the third season (and, to an extent, during it), and the show was never the same afterward. Lucy Lawless talked at the time, I think, about going into a depression or funk and having to press on. I no longer found her acting convincing and the rest of the show deteriorated with it, as she was what held it together. By the end, I was just very, very tired of watching the show and bitter and have since started to bail on shows sooner when they go downhill rather than thinking "Everyone has a few bad outings; maybe it'll get better..." I can sometimes tolerate weak writing, directing, editing, soundtracks, etc., but when I don't buy the acting or simply don't care for the actors, that's it, unless its really hilariously bad in some appealing way (i.e. Michael Wong in Hong Kong movies such as Her Name Is Cat (1998)).

I think it's very hard for any TV series to sustain quality over 100+ episodes. Almost all my favorite shows - not just action heroine ones like Buffy and Alias, but other long-running ones, like 24, The X-Files (hell, even WWE Raw) to be consistently good. You either get stuck in a rut, basically recycling old ideas again and again, or you're forced to branch out in novelty directions like the musical episode, which I can never stand.

I agree with large chunks of what you said, though that's based on my memories of the show as it was - curious to see how these stand up. I think the first couple of seasons were the strongest, and the show lost its way later on, to the point that I stopped watching it entirely in the last couple of series. [Though that was because I was pissed-off at fandom as much as the show] And Callisto was awesome. Really looking forward to her story arc. I think those eps might find a permanent home on DVD...

Series 1, Episode 3: Dreamworker

The theme here is Gabrielle wanting to learn to fight, but then having to spend most of the episode not fighting. She gets captured by a cult which puts her through a series of tests, designed to make her lose her blood innocence. The only way for Xena to rescue her is to make it through a dream corridor, where she must face the spirits of her victims.

It's a good, thoughtful episode, that contrasts the two characters nicely, and the contradiction in Xena's advice to Gabrielle - "If you can run, run. If you can’t run, surrender, then run. If you’re outnumbered, let them fight each other while you run…" - which is completely unlike the way Xena runs her life.

Rather amused by the breast dagger Gabrielle picks up as a weapon, not least because she wouldn't seem to have anywhere to put it, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Which might be the point: don't bother trying to be anything apart from who you are. Not too impressed with Xena's diaphanous costume, which appears to have come out of an 80's pop video, possibly involving Bonnie Tyler.

The best sequence has Xena having to fight her evil self, which is a nice throwback to the character's origins. She's very, very good as a bad girl, and it's something I wish they had shown more of. Overall rating: B+



Series 1, Episode 4: Cradle of Hope

The first of the long-running Xena disclaimers appears at the end of this: "No babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture." And it makes sense, because the only comparable infant-carrying mayhem I can think of, that compares to the scene were Xena takes on a small army while carrying a baby, was in John Woo's Hard Boiled.

A bit of a weird combination of Biblical [Moses cast adrift in a basket to save him from the pharaoh] and classical [Pandora's box] mythology, that doesn't always work. There are also some plot-holes which weaken this a fair bit.

For instance, nifty though Xena's dancing maiden moves might be, it stretches credulity to believe a veil would be enough to stop her from being recognized by the King's adviser, who was staring across the table at her earlier in the day. See below: it's as unconvincing as Superman putting glasses on.

We do get to see Xena doing her fire-breathing, and it's actually Lucy Lawless who does it, no digital trickery. Overall rating: C

Series 1, Episode 5: The Path Not Taken

Xena is asked to rescue a princess, who has been kidnapped by an arms dealer with the aim of provoking a war. His right-hand man is Marcus, a former Xena fling, who is now having some qualms about the nature of his work.

I did enjoy the scene where X+G walk into a bar full of cut-throats, thieves and worse, and Xena dispatches every threat with a look, a backhanded fist or an overhead kick. "That happens sometimes," explains Gabrielle with an absolute lack of surprise, to a bemused princess-fiance.

Otherwise, it's far from one of the best plots, with the princess seeming little more than an excuse to shove Xena and Marcus together. The former is completely ignored when wrapping things up, and the fate of Marcus is no surprise at all,

Lawless gets to exercise her pipes for the first time, with a funeral song she apparently both wrote and sang, to my surprise. Overall rating C-



Series 1, Episode 6: The Reckoning

Xena stumbles across a hooded man slaughtering farmers. She fights him off, but is left, literally, red-handed when the locals arrive and accuse her of the murders. Turns out the man was Ares, god of war, who wants Xena back in his fold, and tempts her with visions of a world where she rules (literally, not metaphorically).

A good episode. Kevin Smith is excellent, and even Gabrielle has her moments, as she defends Xena from the capital murder charges. [CSI: Ancient Greece?] The ep gets a bonus half-point for Xena whacking Gabrielle upside the head, understandable given G's earlier deadpan line, "I understand that you might be feeling a little negative at the moment…"

The plot-twist at the end was nicely-handled and having quite forgotten about it, I didn't see it coming. A little light on the action perhaps, with Xena tied up for most of the episode. Bondage fans rejoice!

Overall rating B-

Season 1, Episode 7: The Titans

Gabrielle unwittingly released the the titular giants from imprisonment in stone, only to find that the desired aim of getting them to serve man, might not be happening quite as intended.

Decent special effects work though, the titans interacting with the little humans; you can rarely see the join, and it makes sense that director Eric Brevig did visual FX for Total Recall and Men in Black.

This episode largely showcases why I disliked Gabrielle so much. She's depicted as arrogant, whiny and ego-centric, even though almost everything she does is a failure. "Don’t be sorry, just improve," mutters Xena to her near the start, and G. does a lot more of the former than the latter. Is the show titled "Gabrielle, Whiny Princess"?

Even X. can do little about 25-foot high behemoths, so in turns of action, there isn't much. That invulnerability forces the plot into some convolutions at the end, with at least one Titan deciding they would rather be back in stone, without a great deal of motivation or justification.

Overall rating D



Season 1, Episode 8: Prometheus

When Prometheus is captured and chained by the gods, humanity starts to lose the gifts he game them - not just fire, but the ability to heal. To take them back, he must be freed, but even with help from Hercules, this looks like a suicide mission.

There are several elements of this I liked. It's a straightforward quest story [reminded me of Clash of the Titans - no, the original, though with way crapper effects, though this added to the charm. At one point a mountain visibly wobbles when Xena collides with it], but the payoff is a very important one. It's not the 'save the village' them we've seen a few times already.

I also enjoyed the Xena and Hercules team-up: one of the key elements of my anti-subtext stance is that Gabrielle is singularly unsuitable as a companion. Herc would provide just as much moral compass, with a better fit of life experience and skills. That said, if anyone is acting like the Ambiguously Gay Duo here, it's Herc and Iolaus. The latter broke his arm filming the fight scene in the barn.

Overall rating B


Suck it, subtexters - just like Gabrielle is doing...

You could say that Gabrielle has a savior complex she's acting out, manifesting as either needing to save others (and using Xena to actually do the work, exploiting her need to alleviate her guilt while still being able to act out aggression) or, the flipside of the coin, needing to be saved herself (trying to improve so she won't need Xena to save her so often but seldom being able to actually carry through with it). She'll be arrogant or ego-centric (self-sufficient or take-charge, in her mind) in an attempt to try to seem like she doesn't need help/saving, tune out important data and feelings and put people off, and end up needing saving because of it. Then she'll whine that its not her fault because she believes she was making every effort to avoid the very thing she's being criticized for, yet subconsciously she made every effort to make things play out the way they did.

Appreciate the feedback, Hyomil. It's always nice to get another viewpoint, and one of the things I like about the series is the breadth of interpretations to which it lends itself.

Interestingly, this week's two episodes both were, to a certain extent, rehashes of previous ones. Surprised to see the show reworking itself. when we're not even half-way through the debut series.

Series 1, Episode 9: Death in Chains
I liked this episode much better the first time I saw it, when it was called Prometheus.

Coming right after that one this is way too similar. As there, Xena has to free a demi-god from captivity, or humanity will have hell to pay: here, it's Hades's sister, Celesta, who is death incarnate. One of her human targets tricks her, and her capture means the end of mortality, which will free the evil to do whatever they want.

Another doomed romance for Gabrielle. If you didn't see Talus's fate coming from the other side of Olympia, I look forward to your next CD, Mr. Wonder. How often is she going to fall in love?

Meanwhile, the king who captures death needs to take Evil Overlord lessons: "Here, before I kill you, let me tell you my entire plan in great detail, so you can subsequently foil it." His change of heart at the end was entirely implausible too.

I had to check I was watching the episodes in the right order, as Gabrielle is wearing the Amazon costume she doesn't actually get until the next show. Oops!

Overall rating: D



Series 1, Episode 10: Hooves and Harlots

This one is also familiar, with shadows of The Path Not Taken, which also had an evil warlord trying to stir up trouble by carrying out actions one side will blame on the other. Here, it's the death of an Amazon, blamed on a nearby tribe of centaurs. Xena has to prove the truth before war breaks out; meanwhile Gabrielle's efforts to save the victim get her anointed as an Amazon princess - and also executioner.

A lot of good stuff here, with plenty going on. And if one action heroine is good, a whole tribe of them is better, right? Even if the dancing is a bit pants, shall we say. It's nice to see the end of Utterly Useless Gabrielle, as she begins to learn some skills of her own, though one Amazon still inquires of X, "She’s annoying. How have you put up with her?"

Alison Bruce makes a good Amazon queen, despite a similarity to Jennifer Saunders, handling herself well, and Lucy Lawless's twirling of G's walking-stick at the opening is classic. I also enjoyed Ephiny's (Danielle Cormack) cold-blooded explanation of using a staff to dispatch a centaur.

I expected the centaur effects to be awful, but they're not too bad, even though there is some obvious hiding of lower halves behind tables, etc. All told though, one of the best episodes to date, even if the point of the Ephiny/X battle escapes me entirely. Oh, well: just enjoy it.

Overall rating: B+

Series 1, Episode 11: The Black Wolf

Xena agrees to help an old friend, whose daughter has been collected in a sweep by Xerxes's men, as they try to find mysterious rebel leader, the Black Wolf. The only way into the dungeon is to be thrown in there, so Xena tells Xerxes she'll be a double agent, befriending the rebels to find out who is their leader.

"I have many skills..." One of the classic Xena-isms, in response to the surprising revelation that she can embroider, and there's quite a bit of good dialogue in here to enjoy. Not too much Gabrielle either, another plus. But the whole Black Wolf plot definitely goes on far too long.

Probably the best chakram shot of the series to date, as it first cuts off an executioner's axe, and then saws its way through multiple prisoners' chains. Xena's remarkable ability to burst from underwater like a Cruise missile is also showcased, though it's too talky to be more than an average episode.

Overall rating: C



Series 1, Episode 12: Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts

Xena is summoned by Helen to Troy, which has been under siege for a decade by the Greeks. At first suspicious of her motives, Helen's other half Paris finally accepts her offer of help - but the biggest threat may not be outside the city walls.

Great idea, poor execution, because the budget doesn't come anywhere close to being able to reproduce the real Troy, which probably had a population in the thousands, rather than the thirties. The secret door used by the traitor to escape the city is also cringeworthy. And with all respect to Helen, her face might have launched a couple of canoes, rather than a thousand ships.

I did like X+G fighting their way into the city under siege, and interesting to see former farmer and Gabrielle-fiance Perdicus transformed into a competent soldier. but I couldn't see the wooden horse without immediately thinking of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Or, as the episode disclaimer put it, "No oversized Polynesian-style Bamboo Horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives."

Overall rating: D